The Road Less Traveled

So I was listening to some music on an errand tonight, and this Third Day song came on, "Can't Take The Pain". I've listened to it a hundred times at least and I love that song, but tonight a certain line stuck with me and got me thinking.

"So I'm off to follow in your steps
it won't be easy, it's safe to say
There are only two roads I can walk on down
The road less traveled is the one you paved"

The part that I really started thinking about was "The road less traveled is the one you paved"
Because through His life, and in His death... Jesus DID pave the way for us, didn't He? He traveled down the road that He in turn wants us to travel down.

And so I contemplate. Thinking of this in a somewhat literal sense... what happens when you pave a road? It makes it easier to travel. It marks it as the designated path, without confusion, right? You don't drive down the road and begin to wonder "is this still the road?" when you're on a paved road. If you go off the paved road, running from pavement into open fields, sidewalks on city streets, or into ditches... well, you KNOW you're no longer on the paved road. So in paving the road for us, Jesus made it a designated way, a place that we couldn't confuse for something else, a path that if we detoured, we would know. And isn't that how it is with this road less traveled? When we're on it, we usually know. Let's face it, it's the road LESS traveled, and so it's the road that's not easy, that's met with opposition, that brings hurdles and issues and hard times. But yet, in all of those things, and in our communication with His Spirit, we can KNOW that this is the way, the right way. And when we detour, the Spirit also lets us know "Hey, you're in the ditch, dummy". So Jesus made the road obvious for us, made the road a bit easier for us when He took it first. He lived the example. And although we will never be as good as He was, and although we could never live up to that example... it's in our very relationship WITH Him that we can walk on that road.

The other point I have is this. When you have a common road, a path, a hiking trail let's say, an unpaved road - and millions of people take this road daily - no matter how many of them walk it before you, it DOESN'T make it easier for you. On the contrary, a lot of unpaved roads tend to get ruts and small ditches in them as more and more people walk over it. So in a way, a million people walking that common path before you just makes it harder for you to walk. And there are often rocks, tree roots, and various other problems... sitting in your way just waiting to HURT YOU. On the paved road that Jesus set for us, the road is never what can harm us. It's the enemy's attacks along that road that can harm us. But the road remains unchanged, remains paved, remains safe. In fact, a paved road is more comfortable and easy to walk on any day of the week than just a dirt path, or a worn in rock way, etc.

So I guess I say this. A paved road is a paved road, comfortable to walk on, easy to move forward on, no matter how many people have walked it before me. It's a solid foundation that actually works to propel me forward, devoid of all those roots and rocks and foundational problems. Jesus paved the way. For me, for you, for anyone wishing to take the path. He laid the foundation... He laid the solid rock for us... He not only IS our foundation, a solid foundation, a foundation I'm never scared to walk on because it's always there, it helps me forward, and it's obvious when I'm on and off it... but He's also the one that set down that foundation for us, He walked that foundation, He showed the way.

I know this is rather "rambly", but I hope you can follow where I went with it. I'd rather be on the road that was paved by Jesus any day as opposed to a path walked by more than I could ever count, a path that can shake my feet, twist my ankles, and just isn't solid enough to be my true foundation. What about you?

Control

I was discussing the issue of control with Lisa the other day, and my prayer the night before, and had some personal revelations I thought I'd share.

I love that sometimes when I pray I say things that I don't intend to, and through my own words I find revelation and things that make me think. Of course I know that's God... seriously, I'm not that intelligent to come up with this stuff, haha.

Anyway, so I'm praying that God would take control of some situations that I'm facing right now. And I'm petitioning and asking and pleading that He just take control. Now I realize in my own way, my human way, I'm not one to easily give up control. I try, very hard, to remember to stop trying to control things, but sometimes I need reminders. This particular situation I was dealing with was just wearing me down, and I realized why - because I was trying to control it. Every time I try to control a situation that is completely OUT of my control I wind up stressed, worried, depressed, angry even... because how often does it honestly turn out my way? Come on. So I try to remember that I can ONLY control myself, how I act and react... and let's face it, I'm even bad at that sometimes, aren't I? VERY bad at it many times is more like it.

So back to my prayers. I'm praying "Lord, I'm so disgusted with this situation, I just don't even want to try to control it anymore. Please take it away..." I didn't want Him to take away the situation, just the control. After years of turning INTO a control freak, I'm so ready to give it up. And as I'm praying, it comes to me... "Lord, THANK YOU for taking control..."
All this time I've felt like it's all this labor to give up control (which it IS mind you) and that I just need to keep petitioning Him to take control of these situations. But I don't. He already HAS control of every single situation. So that's when I realize that MAN, we should be THANKING Him for having control and keeping control and always always always working for OUR good. We don't deserve it, yet He continually takes it from us. I mean... He takes the responsibility away from me, takes the weight off my shoulders, and can anyone control a situation better than God? Honestly? No.
Romans 8:28 says : "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." So He's WORKING for OUR good... even though we don't deserve it, He works for the good of those called by Christ... and He takes all the responsibility and the pain and the anger and the frustration and the weight and the pressure of controlling a situation... and He gladly accepts it, He WORKS it, and He walks with the us THROUGH the situation to the other side where we can finally see that - guess what, He just worked the situation to be good for me. Granted, sometimes it takes us time to see our benefit, be it spiritual, physical, mental, etc... but we KNOW, we have the promise in His word that if we follow Him, if we love Him, if we accept Christ... that He WILL ALWAYS have control of everything, and bend and twist and manage and turn it into whatever He needs it to be so it can be good... for us.

So there it is. From now on I'm not going to petition God to TAKE control from me. He already has it. From now on I'm going to THANK HIM for always having control, and for always working it out for my own good. And maybe when I can continue to verbally acknowledge this, I will continue to realize that His always having control is not taking something FROM me, but giving something TO me. Perhaps in THAT, in that realization and acceptance of blessing... I can grow to the place where I realize that NO control of anything other than my own actions is actually what I want.

Ultimate Temptation

I was just reading one of today's devotionals and the scripture at the end to ponder was this one:

Hebrews 2:14-18, "Since the children have flesh and blood, he too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might destroy him who holds the power of death--that is, the devil-- and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death. For surely it is not angels he helps, but Abraham's descendants. For this reason he had to be made like his brothers in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people. Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted." (NIV)

I know I always try to remember that Jesus was human... all human (although still all God)... and it made me feel better to see that he faced temptation. Right? That gives us solace, comfort, and help when we face temptations. He faced Satan in the desert, and He resisted Satan's ploys, and overcame.

But I began to consider... what was His biggest temptation??

And then I thought... He limited Himself FULLY as human... and FULLY experienced the pain of being human and being tortured, crucified, slashed, beaten, tormented...

And I got this flash of Him on the cross... total pain and torture and agony, and as it brings tears to my eyes... I contemplate... perhaps His - Jesus, as both limited human and yet still wholly God - BIGGEST temptation was at that very moment... because if I was a person in that very situation, would I have EVER lasted even THAT long?

Why, on the cross, did He not just decide it was time to use His power? Why, on the cross in that agony, did He not say enough is enough, I'm through with this. Why, in that pain that none of us will ever be able to describe, did He not pull from His power as ALMIGHTY LORD and just numb Himself to His pain??? Talk about temptation... and I believe that had to be possibly the worst moment of temptation He faced. And yet... in lieu of all He was fully capable of... He gained more power, and showed more love... in remaining completely human at that moment. And so He spit in the face of temptation. If that isn't the ultimate resistance, I don't know what is.

It kind of reminds me of the people who die in the name of Christ, who are confronted "choose Christ and death or reject Him and live"... and choose Christ. Although, not to do injustice to what any of those individuals went through... it still pales in comparison to what Jesus went through on the cross.

Wow. So He spit in the face of temptation... for us. Just another little facet of the amazing loving God we have...
Maybe this will make it a little easier for me to resist temptation. I can hope!

Just Random Thoughts

Today instead of going into some philosophical conversation of sorts, I'm just going to ramble a bit.

The first thing I want to say is that if anyone reading this likes to read books and hasn't read it yet - get The Shack, by William P Young. It's a great great great read. It has the potential to be a life changing book, and I really loved it. It brought some seriously insightful things for me to ponder and mull over as well as some comedy, drama, and more. If you haven't read it - definitely try to get your hands on it. It's pretty cheap at B&N and you can find it at the library too. Or get the audio version, as that has a great interview with the author at the end, sharing opinions, inspirations, and more. Great read. What can it hurt to give it a shot?

Anyway. That's enough of that. Today's topic is honesty. I know we are always supposed to be honest... but even with tact and the utmost respect it is totally possible to insult and offend people, isn't it? I believe a couple things on that front... maybe some honesty just isn't worth saying if it doesn't need to be. This is a lesson I'm learning daily, and often Eli helps remind me of it, lol. I'm trying not to offer negative honesty unless directly asked these days. But what about when someone asks you a question directly, and you KNOW the answer(s) will just bring extreme repercussions hurtling in your direction in the form of insults, attacks, whining, crying, blaming...? But the other thing I believe is that if we give an honesty, if we tell someone what we feel or what we believe and we labor to be respectful and considerate in our language and delivery of that truth... then it really does become the other person's responsibility to deal with their own reaction. I can only control me, right? Right. And Lord knows I have a hard enough time managing that sometimes. So I know that I cannot spend all my days worrying about how people will react to the truth, how they will handle themselves... because if they get upset but I've done nothing but be respectful, then they need to deal with their upset, hurt, anger, etc. This I believe firmly.
But my current dilemma is that if someone asks you directly what they've done to keep you from having a relationship with them, and what they can do to fix it... well, this requires you telling them the truth... the truth that most times they don't want to hear. And even bigger an issue is when the person who asks you for this truth is a person who always reacts in anger, rage, pulls out all the stops to hit below the belt and hurt, and tries desperately to make YOU angry in return. The perspective being that everyone is always attacking them, regardless of whether or not they asked the question that got the response they didn't like. So I'm facing this pretty much exact decision. Do I be honest, because honest is a long list of things that need to change, honest is a list of things that can no longer take place in the relationship... and that other person will NOT like it. I can be respectful, but unfortunately in all previous experiences over the last two decades, it has brought attack after attack, insult after insult, whining and crying about how I'm a bad person... a bad person for being honest, a bad person for being tactful, a bad person for being respectful? Of course. And so now... after this same thing happening for years, and after dealing with being verbally attacked time after time after time by someone who refuses to change... I've pretty much lost my desire for being honest to see things change, never mind losing my desire for the relationship itself. But... it remains obvious the relationship was put there by God (you can't exactly ditch family successfully) and it needs to eventually work, but I don't know if I have the strength to even write the list, create the email with a list of things I desperately need changed. It's a tough spot. I want to do the RIGHT thing, but I know I can't do the right thing without very likely getting a really bad reaction in response.

So that's my question... I've sat on it for a while now...
Do I be honest and respectful and hope that God can change someone's heart, that He can change someone from doing things that are so destructive and poisonous to every relationship they ever have?
Or do I just say 'forget it', and be done with it for good? I somehow feel wrong giving up and not even trying, but when you've been trying for so many years, the only way to regain the strength that other person took away from you is to eliminate them from the equation. Sadly that elimination has proven to be a very smart move, and has made my life better. But it will never fully be eliminated so long as the other person still wants a relationship.

It's just time for someone to change... and the more I change in a more peaceful, productive, respectful direction (and it's a really really long and hard process for me to do that)... the more it is obvious I can't be in relationship with those that destroy.

Today's dilemma has been brought to you by the letter T. lol.

Today's Thoughts...

Thinking about Adam & Eve, man & woman, value & purpose...

It is widely known that man puts his value, finds his purpose, and seeks his identity in his work, his career, his accomplishments of that nature... the result of the work he does with his hands.

It is also widely known that woman puts her value, finds her purpose, and seeks her identity in her relationships, her close friends, the cultivating of close intimate friendships and relationships.

I've always heard that in various places, and it's always made sense. But I put something together yesterday...

Man was created from the earth: "the LORD God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being." (Genesis 2:7).
But woman was created from the man: "So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. " (Genesis 2:21-22)

It finally occurred to me that there is a connection between how God created man and woman, and what they (and we) find value in. Man was created of the dust of the earth, and now he finds purpose and identity in his work, in the results of the work he performs with his hands... he was birthed from the earth and finds his purpose in working the earth...
Woman is then taken out of man... an instant relationship is formed in her very creation... and now she finds HER worth and purpose in the relationships she holds with others, with friends and family and especially her husband.

Of course, when both Adam & Eve were created, they were as helpmates and companions... much as they were created to be for God as well. But then enter sin, the relationship is nearly severed. When they were created, all of what they needed was in God... and they found it there. But after they sinned and went against what He had told them... well, then man begins to find his WORTH and PURPOSE and HAPPINESS and IDENTITY... in his work, in the results of what he does with the land that he was birthed from. And woman then begins to find her WORTH and PURPOSE and HAPPINESS and IDENTITY... in her relationship with man, with friend, with family, with everyone.... but not God.

So I see that although I value relationships and often find my identity in them (and yes, it's true, no point in lying - I instinctively do this)... I'm SUPPOSED to find all of that, to find EVERYTHING... in my Creator God.
Although man values his work and finds his identity in accomplishments... he SHOULD also seek his identity in his Creator God.

But it's no wonder that men can feel low and lack good self esteem when their work doesn't meet with praise and thanks (especially from his wife, but that's another blog)... and it's no wonder that women lack self confidence and satisfaction when their relationships aren't going well.

And so Adam and Eve started the chain reaction of running to everything but God, to looking to everything but God... to find self worth and contentment.
At what point do we realize that all of the things we seek from everyTHING and everyONE else can be found in God? And furthermore... perhaps understanding a little more about our life-mates especially can help us to help them. How? For goodness sakes, give your man thanks and praise and gratitude for his hard work... and maybe he'll begin to put more effort and value into your relationship. Give your woman true intimacy, share with her, love her... and maybe she will begin to value your efforts as the provider...

Just some thoughts...

Thanks to Eli...

I totally forgot about this blog! Not that anyone but me reads it... which is fine. But since Eli started one in attempt to do new projects and things... I think I should post something on mine to not be lazy and slack about my own. Maybe at some point I'll take a cue from him and post a photo or two, but for now I'm going to post the poem I wrote for Lisa & Tim's wedding gift (to go with a photo)... anyone who read this on Facebook will say "repeaaaaat". Oh well.

I feel a little silly taking any credit for this, or even posting it... I didn't write it alone... I had some divine inspiration... but I just feel like sharing because it's important to me... Lisa & Tim got married this past Saturday, and this was what I wrote to go along with their gift (a photo, what else)... it's about sacrifice, compromise, beauty, living for Christ and living for each other... I think our relationship with Christ is about constantly dying to ourselves and living in unity with Him, no matter how hard it is or how horrible we are at it. And I believe that a marriage relationship is about constantly dying to our selves, our single selves, our selfish selves, our independent selves... and living in unity with our spouses...

Die to Self

I die to self,
I live in You.
I die to self,
Please live in me.

I see beauty in my life.
You see beauty in my death.

There lies beauty in transition,
Deny me, seek You.
Die… to self.

There lies beauty in submission,
Deny me, seek You.
Die… to self.

Every day a new step.
Every step a new day.

I see beauty in my life,
You see beauty in my death.

I praise You for Your life in me,
Allowing me to serve.
I praise You for Your life in me,
Allowing me to die… to self.

Serving one another in this promise,
Serving You in our life together.
We die… to ourselves
And we love.

We see beauty in our life,
You see beauty in our death.
(J. Roszkowski, 2009)

Luke 9:23-24 (NIV): Then he said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it."