Control

I was discussing the issue of control with Lisa the other day, and my prayer the night before, and had some personal revelations I thought I'd share.

I love that sometimes when I pray I say things that I don't intend to, and through my own words I find revelation and things that make me think. Of course I know that's God... seriously, I'm not that intelligent to come up with this stuff, haha.

Anyway, so I'm praying that God would take control of some situations that I'm facing right now. And I'm petitioning and asking and pleading that He just take control. Now I realize in my own way, my human way, I'm not one to easily give up control. I try, very hard, to remember to stop trying to control things, but sometimes I need reminders. This particular situation I was dealing with was just wearing me down, and I realized why - because I was trying to control it. Every time I try to control a situation that is completely OUT of my control I wind up stressed, worried, depressed, angry even... because how often does it honestly turn out my way? Come on. So I try to remember that I can ONLY control myself, how I act and react... and let's face it, I'm even bad at that sometimes, aren't I? VERY bad at it many times is more like it.

So back to my prayers. I'm praying "Lord, I'm so disgusted with this situation, I just don't even want to try to control it anymore. Please take it away..." I didn't want Him to take away the situation, just the control. After years of turning INTO a control freak, I'm so ready to give it up. And as I'm praying, it comes to me... "Lord, THANK YOU for taking control..."
All this time I've felt like it's all this labor to give up control (which it IS mind you) and that I just need to keep petitioning Him to take control of these situations. But I don't. He already HAS control of every single situation. So that's when I realize that MAN, we should be THANKING Him for having control and keeping control and always always always working for OUR good. We don't deserve it, yet He continually takes it from us. I mean... He takes the responsibility away from me, takes the weight off my shoulders, and can anyone control a situation better than God? Honestly? No.
Romans 8:28 says : "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." So He's WORKING for OUR good... even though we don't deserve it, He works for the good of those called by Christ... and He takes all the responsibility and the pain and the anger and the frustration and the weight and the pressure of controlling a situation... and He gladly accepts it, He WORKS it, and He walks with the us THROUGH the situation to the other side where we can finally see that - guess what, He just worked the situation to be good for me. Granted, sometimes it takes us time to see our benefit, be it spiritual, physical, mental, etc... but we KNOW, we have the promise in His word that if we follow Him, if we love Him, if we accept Christ... that He WILL ALWAYS have control of everything, and bend and twist and manage and turn it into whatever He needs it to be so it can be good... for us.

So there it is. From now on I'm not going to petition God to TAKE control from me. He already has it. From now on I'm going to THANK HIM for always having control, and for always working it out for my own good. And maybe when I can continue to verbally acknowledge this, I will continue to realize that His always having control is not taking something FROM me, but giving something TO me. Perhaps in THAT, in that realization and acceptance of blessing... I can grow to the place where I realize that NO control of anything other than my own actions is actually what I want.